let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
