I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm always down for nudity.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
