He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I want her autograph on my taint
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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