brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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