how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
