When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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