i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
