So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
barbara walters just said penis...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Randomize
