Non-Jews are for practice
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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