Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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