You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
