1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
