Can Purell be used as lube?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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