Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
