at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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