so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
