Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
