guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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