At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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