Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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