i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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