sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my being single is dangerous.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
