Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize