i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
