I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize