Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
