Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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