"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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