Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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