If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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