get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I believe in your delicious
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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