So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
