the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
