Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
