So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
