i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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