True but thats because hes a fetus.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize