I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
