took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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