I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
