i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
