I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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