I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
