I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Congratulations! We have a period
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
