Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
