Everything about him screamed your future.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize