East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
