He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i think i just lost a toe
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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