he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
