Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
