did you get engaged???
Are we in a gay sports bar?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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