You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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