Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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