So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
