He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
