Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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