I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
