i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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