Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
