I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I checked into jail on foursquare
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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