He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize