I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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