omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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