I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
