So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
