Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
