I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
