u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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