so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
