someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
