There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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