i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
