I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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