Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
